Divorce is expensive because it is contested, and it is contested for reasons that are often avoidable. After two decades of family cases in and around Flagler County, the same five mistakes account for a remarkable share of the cost.
1. Emptying the joint account
It feels like protecting yourself. In a Florida court it looks like dissipation of marital assets, and judges have a long memory for it. Moving marital money without agreement or a court order invites a motion for temporary relief, an order to put it back, and a credibility problem you will carry through every later issue in the case — including the ones about your children.
If you genuinely need funds to live on, that is what temporary relief is for. Ask the court, not the ATM.
2. Putting it on social media
Assume that everything you post will be printed, enlarged, and handed to a judge. The vacation photographs posted while you were claiming an inability to pay support. The new partner introduced to the children three weeks after the petition. The message written at midnight that you deleted the next morning — screenshots survive deletion.
The simplest advice we give clients is the most useful: stop posting. Not sanitize, not set to private. Stop, until the case is over.
3. Using the children as messengers
“Tell your mother the check is late.” It seems efficient. It is the single behavior most likely to damage your position in a time-sharing dispute, because Florida Statutes §61.13 expressly asks the court to weigh each parent’s capacity to keep the child out of the adult conflict — and to consider whether each parent is likely to support a close relationship with the other.
Communicate with the other parent directly, in writing, in a tone you would be content to have read aloud. Assume it will be.
4. Fighting over things instead of value
We have seen thousands of dollars in fees spent over furniture worth a few hundred. Some of that is genuinely about principle, and principle is allowed. But the arithmetic deserves an honest look: if contesting an item costs more than replacing it, contesting it is not a financial decision, it is an emotional one, and it should be made knowingly.
Pick the two or three things that actually matter to you. Concede the rest early and visibly. It costs you very little and it buys real goodwill in the negotiations that follow.
5. Being slow with the financial disclosure
Florida’s mandatory disclosure rule requires both spouses to exchange a defined set of documents: tax returns, pay stubs, bank and retirement statements, credit card statements, and a sworn financial affidavit. Nothing meaningful happens in the case until this is done.
Clients who gather these in the first two weeks get to mediation months earlier than clients who supply them in pieces over a season. Incomplete disclosure also invites a motion to compel — which costs you fees, and costs you the presumption that you are dealing straight.
The thread running through all five
Every one of these is a decision made in the first weeks, when emotion is highest and legal advice is least likely to have been taken. If you are contemplating a divorce, the most cost-effective hour you will spend is the one before you do anything at all.
This article is general information about Florida law, not legal advice about your situation, and it does not create an attorney–client relationship. Law changes; this was accurate when written. For advice on your own matter, call (386) 264-6937.